Marvellous Esther

Our beloved child, Esther Antoinette, lived among us for 7 years and 8 months. The last 2 years of her life bacame something we could never anticipate. It all started in the kindergarden as Esther pointed to a spot on her left ancle and told us she experienced pain. There was nothing visible but I felt warmth iside her feet at that exact place. We went to the doctor and was told that it was no fraction, that all would go over. Well, it did not. After some time she started to limp and we got to the childrens hospital. Controlls and checkups where conducted and we finaly got her diagnosis: Osteomyelites. Within some days she was operated. Things should get better but again it did not.. The doctors finally decided to reoperate Esther. During that second operation we where called into a room with 3 doctors and told that our beloved daughter had cancer. What a horrible message! After more checkup we got her diagnosis Metastatic Ewings Sarcoma. A bone cancer and the worst- by that time the cancer had spread... 

Looking back today I soooo much regret accepting the doctors first diagnosis of Osteomyelites! It was based upon xrays taken from her ancle. If I had demanded more surveys to be conducted ( Pet scan, ultra sound, CT ) the cancer would probably have been discovered. We trust in the doctors and belive they are right. In Esther`s case the first operation was probably fatal. What can I say to you, dear reader ? What if  I had thought "the worst case scenario"? It might be better to deal with health issues that way...? I was optimistic beliving my child was in the best hands. You might wounder: are you angry at the hospital? I WAS angry. Today I belive this could have been discovered earlier. Never the less Ewings sarcoma is very agressive and hard to trace. 

Life can be very brutal! After 18 rounds of cemoterapy ( more than 120 bags of poison ) and 41 days of radiation Esther was sent home. By that time the cancer had spread to her lungs and there was nothing more to do.. 

This is only a short version. There is so much  more to share. What amazes me over and over again is Esther! How my beloved child dealth with all of this......!!!! She ALWAYS took what came positively, with joy and her wounderfull laughter!  Her attitude enlightend me. Just being with her lifted the burden. When we had a chanze to go somewhere I often noticed people staring at Esther. Today when I  see pictures taken from that time I undertand why. It`s obvious that she was seriously sick. During that time I did not see her pale and sick. I saw my beloved child and she was a shining beacon. 

Its my hope that you all will see this marvellous child. A hero like Esther deserves our attention! This is why I decided to share our story with you. Walking through the valley of death has changed me in many ways. Facing death put things into perspective and I hope some of you will find "My beloved child" helpfull!

                                       Videos of Esther

I want to share some videos of Esther with you all. As you will see her humor and bright sence never changed. No matter how much poison she recived her caracter remained intact. Belive me, this is amazing! The treatment Esther got was worst then most. The rounds of chemoterapy where hard and long lasting. Yet, Esther went trough it all with a smile and that has forever astounded me!