My blog

Anger is counter productive

Being angry at people or being angry at God is not productive. During the years we fought cancer there were several issues that surprice and upset us. More than once I felt anger and fustration. In generall it is important to be honest towards other`s. When we experience something wrong it`s best to adress the issue, otherwise things will never improve. Yet giving into anger does not benefit or solve anything!

My country, Norway, went through terrible times the 22 July 2011. Recently I heard our Primeminister at that time. Jens Stoltenberg, explaining how it was to meet the families of those that were brutaly killed. Picturing that sceen is hard..... Death was a shock to everyone! Among all those that were brutaly murdered most were teenagers with a political engagement. They had a great time at Utøya untill all exploded....The Prime Minister shared how increadibly touching it was to see all the groups of love ones gaddered that day. The owewhelming reality and the prime Minister asking himself what can I say to mend the broken harted...? I have lost a child but it`s still impossible to understand that tragedy. 

Listening to Jens Stoltenberg it struck me: what if we could gatter all the love ones who have lost someone to cancer? How would that look? We are a lot of people and we suffer...! I sometimes wounder: does the living care for the dead? I have seen people get angry when we took Esther to Starbuck`s. Should we hide her away when she loved that place? We went there when it was possible. It really upset me to see a person angry.,.... at Esther! 

We can be angry and sometimes with good reasson. Yet does it help?? Our Pride does so easily ignite. Anger has its root in pride and pride leads to destruction. How much evil comes from pride; rebelliousness, anger, hatred, violence, abuse, strife, divorce, slanderous accusations, war, divitions... endless amounts of problems.... When mankind fell into sin it was rebelliousness that caused it. When we lost the unic fellowship with Him, when mankind choose sin sickness came as a result with all its pain and suffering. 

Why do we not listen to God?? Why do we not seek His advice? We always rebell and experience evil.  Death can not be avoided. Death is  a terrible reality for all of us. And death has many forms. Our tongue can bring down heawen and put hell on fire. Our toungh is a deadly weapon much more dangerous then we think.. I choose to guard my hart trying to lift my head unto Him. I dont want to walk in anger! I am a human being and I do fail, still I chooce love and humility above pride and anger!

Can life change...?

We all experience evil one way or another. Changing the status qou is hard. Changing an adult behavour is really difficult. We grow into patterns, ways of behaving, that limits us.. By doing so we ( in many ways )  fool ourselves. Relationship that goes through strife can be especially hard to save. It`s simply too much pride in us. 

All religions are based upon deeds; praying, going to communities, buildings dedicated to worship and fellowship, giving time and resources, sacrifices, fasting, meditation, offerings, on and on it goes....Before Christ His people struggled. When we look back "b.c" was a struggle: there was a time for worship, a time for offerings, a time for communion etc. When Jesus died and ressurected after 3 days ALL CHANGED. He carried our sins. He took it upon himself. None of us need to struggle. Christianity is ALL ABOUT FREEDOM. We were created in harmony and peace, yet we chooce pride and death. With Christ all has been restored.  "When he had received the drink, Jesus said, "It is finished." With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit ( John 19,30 ). Why did he say that before dying? We now live in the age of grace. For so long we tried to do good. This struggle does not bring any change. There is no lasting peace in constant struggle! In ourselves we cannot be free. 

This is why we need a relationship with our creator. Our havenly father KNOW`S ALL that we go through! Belive me, he does! "People like us" who have been broken need His relationship MORE THAN EVER! We need His mercy and loving kindness every day. I can choose to seek help form people. There are lots of them that can help as we go through hard times. Specialist`s, friends, family, colleagues and people that has experienced simmilar situations. Personally small children "melts me" in a special way- I love to see them and be with them.... For us it has also been a great help to meet other families that have lost their children. We are all "in the same boat" understanding one another in a deeper way..

Still ,we are all limited. I can help others, I can comfort but I can not heal a broken hart. When life was created everything was good : "God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning--the sixth day" ( Genesis 1, 31 ). There was no death, no cancer, nothing negative. Man was created in His image and we met with Him every day. What was the purpose of life? God made it all so that we could "go for a walk together." When we walk we also talk. We communicate, sharing our thaughts and listening to one another. This is the meening of life. God wants to communicate with us! This relationship between us and him is the pattern for all relationship. He created us in his immage, in his likness ( Genesis 1,27 ). 

Humans can be egoistic. We have a strong tendency of thinking about Myself and MY needs! Yet, when it comes to our children we act opposite. Every "healthy mother and father" will gladly lay down their life for their daughter/ son. I would not hessitate one second if I could take Esther`s cancer upon me. I would not think of the pain or anything else. For what are those thing`s compared to the love I had/have for her?? A parents love for a child proves that we are created in His image. 2000 years ago God had to let his son go. He had to see how Jesus "went about doing well, healing all those that were oppressed by the devil"( acts 10,38) and yet being persecuted, brutaly tortured and murdered. Even upon the cross Jesus uttered: " Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing" ( Luke 23, 34 ). What an example He was, what a strong man, tested in All yet never failing,,,,! 

We need Him more than ever. We need to "walk with our father", sharing our thaughts, opening our harts, listening to him. We tend to complicate this relationship what is easy- talk to God! Tell him things you would never tell anyone, inner things, negative and positive. He will always listen wether you speek it out loud or within. Wether you sing or cry, he will listen. Just be honest. Pour out your hart! He will never fail us, nor forsake us. Man fail but God wants to be our shepard, protecting us.  He is longing for our relationship like a parent longs for a child. 

Read His word and you will find people in difficult situations ( Adam, Eva, Abraham, Jacob, Noah, Moses, Job, Isaiah, David, Isac, Salomo, Josef, Paul, Peter, John, Thimoty). On and on we could mention names. All of them experienced hardship. Yet, in the midst of this salvation came as they cling onto him. Seek His word. You will find the proud falling down and the humble being restored. Look at Messia, how Jesus treated people with love and respect. He was kind and meek to all acept the pharisees. They were filled with pride and arrogance and God will always resist the proud. 

Changing an adult is really difficult. We are all tainted from life. This make us proud and cold.. In a relationship pride can become a huge challenge. It`s not easy to change "the other" person. Sometimes it`s not even the other person that need`s to change.... In all types of relationship we need His help. Every human culture has it`s limitation. All culture has strong/ benefitial sides and weak/ negative sides. "His culture/ His ways" are far above ours. Allow him to be a part of your life and you will experience change.

..so there is no excuse..

"For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities--his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God" ( Rom 1,20 ). 

"Not beliving in God" is for me an amazing position..... Beliving there is no past and no future gives life NO meening. "A thought": I could argue that a Encyclopedia has been created by an explosion inside a printing house one million years ago..... That caos eventually became an amazingly detailed boklet. Nature alone proves Gods wisdome. I would not be the least surpriced if cancer one day can be treated with medicine based upon nature. There has been fantastic breakthroughs in Immuneteraphy. This way of treatment uses our own imune system. If our "killer celles" can detect cancer "there will be a war" inside our body. If Esther`s imune system detected ewing sarcoma the cancer would surely die. 

If the answer lay in the nature it is "present" somehow.. The wisdome and splendour we see in nature goes far abowe our understanding. I have been told that medicine so far has only discovered 10% of the human body. That the amount of atoms inside our eye are more than all discovered objects in the universe. We are all "walking miracles". Man is the crown of creation We have been set above all and need wisdom to manage everything. 

Together again

I recently heard a marvellous song by Kristene Dimarco " I will follow you".  The lyricks is:

My heart is steadfast oh God, and I won't be led astray
by the things that, simply will fade before Your face Oh,
And I will follow You, I wrapped up in You,I belong to You
I was made for this, one thing is to see and to seek Your goodness
Take me by the hand and lead me
And I will follow You, I wrapped up in You, I belong to You [x2]
I have decided, and I have resolved in my heart
that I will go anywhere, anywhere just to see Your face
I have decided, and I have resolved in my heart
that I will go anywhere, anywhere, anywhere
just to see Your face
I will follow You, I wrapped up in You, I belong to You
Moments may come when I feel so afraid but
I rest in the promise you made that You will remain forever faithful and
I will follow You, I wrapped up in You, I belong to You [x2]
I belong to You

Seeking His goodness is vital!!! When you carry a burden of loosing a love one, its too heavy... it simply is! Wew are only humans. We desperately need His goodness and the song is acurate. When I seek his face, there is goodness and mercy ferever moor. And Esther is there in his precence, together again....